• Queenie

8 Friendships You Need & Don't Need As An Adult




As I approach another year around the sun I reflect as I always do about the things and people in my life so I can move differently moving forward. Lets face it as you get older things change, you start to build a family, deal with adult things, and have bigger goals - so you always want to make sure your surrounding yourself with the people who fill your life with the right ingredients that will allow you to be happy and to grow.


Think of yourself as a plant and everyone in your life is an ingredient. Some of the people in your life will provide sun and water while others will offer poor soil, too much fertilizer, and pests.


If you're wondering what kind of people you should keep close and which ones you should keep at a distance this is the right blog for you! As we are maneuvering through this thing called life it's important to protect your mental health at all cost - after all who wants stress, anxiety, or anger?


Listen, sis (and bros lol) life is too short to allow anyone in your bubble that isn't benefiting you mentally, physically, or emotionally and that includes family members as well.


Here are 4 types of friends you need in your life especially in your 30s:


The Cheerleader

Someone who genuinely supports your accomplishments even if they are small wins like if you finally got 10 people to join your subscription list they are cheering! The friend who screams with joy and is just as ecstatic as you for things you accomplish that make you happy is a real beneficial friend to have in your life. Rooting for someone should be a no-brainer for someone who is your friend- right? This isn't the case for everyone, sadly. My biggest cheerleader is my mom. She literally gets so excited for me with everything I do even the smallest wins and encourages me everyday to keep going.


The Motivating Machine

With motivation you can achieve so much more. Just knowing you have a team behind you offering you words of encouragement is often times the push you need to be the very best version of yourself. Have you ever been trying to lose weight and your friend texts you daily and reminds you to drink water and suggests a virtual workout class to join? Or have you been talking about a project you want to start and your friend reminds you of that project and how important it is for you to start so you don't throw it on the back burner? I have so many moments that I can remember of friends checking up on me and motivating me to get certain things done and because of them I went FULL force! We need these friends in our lives.


The Optimistic One

By the show of hands who wants a Debbie Downer around them all the time? Yeah, I didn't think anyone would. An optimistic friend always sees the bright side of things. There are times when you are feeling a little down and being a pessimist but then when your optimistic friend comes around and cheers you up by being optimistic its the best thing ever! The optimistic friend also isn't threatened by the success of others and when they say they are happy for you its as genuine as can be.


The Easygoing Friend

Aah, the easygoing friend! The one that just lets you be you without judging you. They stay away from gossip, drama, stress, fighting, and anything that is negative. They are open to different things and will try most things at least once. They are fair when it comes to planning and are laid back and just wants to have a good stress-free time. They avoid any unnecessary conflict at all time and if any drama can erupt they nip it in the butt from the beginning. We all need this friend in our lives...I mean who likes drama?



Sis, listen to me LIFE IS TOO SHORT to waste time with anyone who doesn't make you feel good. During this pandemic I think I can speak for a lot of people when I say they held their loved ones closer since so many people were passing from COVID-19. You want to make sure your spending the time that you can never get back with those who are deserving of it.



"Sometimes your circle decreases in size but increases in value"



Here are 4 Friends You Absolutely Don't Need Especially In Your 30s


Mr/Ms Blabber Mouth


If you have a friend who always knows EVERYONES business and spreads the gossip to you then what makes you think that they aren't spreading your gossip to someone else? We have all gossiped at one point or another but you get to an age where you start to respect people and see value in the fact that they confided in you to tell you their personal matters so therefore you don't spread gossip. I personally don't trust people who tells me gossip (unless its celebrity gossip lol). Loyalty is very important and a gossiper lacks that trait usually.


Drama Drama Drama Queen/King

We ALL have had those friends where they are always mad about something and they always have drama going on from internet arguments to drama at work to fighting with their girlfriend or boyfriend..its too much! Sadly, some people crave drama and it excites them but that's negative energy that you don't need. Listening to your friend talk about their drama to you 24/7 is mentally draining for you. This can cause stress and anxiety on your end and a friend should be giving you the total opposite. I'm sure your life alone is crazy so there's no need to add your friends craziness to it.


The Selfish Friend

This friend is the kind that likes to receive but not to give. You pay for their lunch when your together one time and the next time when they pay for the lunch they end up asking you to send your portion via PayPal. I can understand this when your in middle or high school when your both broke but when your adults the friendship has to go both ways. "You got me and I got you" friendships are the ones I crave and work out the best for me personally. Penny pinchers and ones that take and take and don't give wont last with me....sorry!


The Jealous Friend

This is the one I dislike the most lol! This is the friend that acts like everything is perfectly fine but deep down they are really envious of you! It can be jealousy from your relationship, career success, success from social media, where you are in life..and anything really. Whenever you bring up your success their "congrats" doesn't seem too genuine. They never check in on your accomplishment and ask how its going. If you post something on social media they never like it but they are active on social media. We are all human and we have all been jealous of someone before but if they can't use your success as motivation then it may be time to let them go. Secret envy can lead problems in the future. Jealous friends also keep their distance during times when your getting married, going on vacation, or any event in your life that they are jealous about. These friends need to go if they cant change.


The bottom line is you need to protect your space at all time and realize that tomorrow isn't promised and you don't want to spend part of your life investing into friends who provide no value. Remember, you are a plant and only select friend who will provide the ingredients to allow your plant to grow!


What are your thoughts on this friendship topic? Like, share on your social media, and comment below so I can know your thoughts!